Is it okay to use AI for relationship advice?

Short answer: yes, with two conditions. Don't do it in secret, and don't let it take your side. Most people are currently breaking both.

What people are actually doing

In a 2026 Marriage.com survey of 1,000 married Americans, 64% had searched online for marriage help before talking to their partner, 28% had made a money decision based on AI or online advice without telling their spouse, and 33% felt AI tools understood their relationship struggles better than their spouse.

None of that is inherently bad. But look at the shape of it: alone, first, and sometimes instead of the conversation.

Condition one: not in secret

An AI you consult privately about your relationship becomes a third party your partner has never met. Couples counselors now describe clients arriving with chat transcripts as "evidence." The fix is simple: use it where your partner can see it. If that feels impossible, that's information too.

Condition two: it can't take your side

A one-person chat only hears your version, so it tends to agree with you, a well-documented tendency of assistants to be agreeable. That's why one therapist's blog is titled "ChatGPT always takes your side." An AI relationship advisor is only useful if it hears both of you and is built not to pick a winner.

How to do it right

1. Put both of you in the same conversation with the AI.
2. Use a tool that's instructed not to declare who's right, and to say when it's not the right tool (safety, coercion, abuse).
3. Ask it to name what each of you is asking for, not who wins.
4. Treat it as a well-read friend, not a therapist. If you need a therapist, get one.

That's what SharedChat's Relationships room is: both partners in one thread, an AI told in writing never to pick a side, and a plain "this needs a professional" when it does.